you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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