She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
