youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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