ugly people sure do ruin things
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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