Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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