This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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