Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
