Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
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She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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