Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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