Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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