I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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