Where is the hickey?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
