i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
