I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
