Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
