I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
