Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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