mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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