Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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