I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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