My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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