Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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