This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
