I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
