i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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