Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
