I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
