Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sext me about skeletons
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
