we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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