Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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