she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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