One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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