Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
