I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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