ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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