i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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