Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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