Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
