he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
