You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I know her cup size but not her name....
tell me about the fingering
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize