Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
