I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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