She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
