i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
