margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize