I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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