listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
