They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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