I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
