guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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