She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
