dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
