We won't sleep together?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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