before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
