Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
