So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
