I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
