Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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