well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
