it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize