I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Someone came in the potted fern
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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