i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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