Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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