You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize